Frequently Asked
Questions
©2005 by Joe
Kort, MSW
When calling
a therapist for therapy clients usually have many questions. As
consumers, you are entitled to the answer for those questions.
The following are frequently asked questions. I hope this will
assist in giving you the answers you want. If you have more
questions please feel free to email
me or
call me at 248-399-7317.
Individual
Therapy
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How do I know
if you are the right therapist for me?
The best way
is to ask your questions during our phone conversation and then
to come in for an initial evaluation. While I am evaluating you
and your circumstances to see if I can help you, it is your
opportunity to evaluate me and see if I am the right fit for you
as well.
The best
thing is to come in for a consultation.
If I come to
your office for an initial consultation, what can I expect?
During an
initial evaluation, I will ask you questions about your life
including what the presenting issue is, how your relationships
are doing including friendships, colleagues, family and romantic
relationships. I will ask you about your childhood and how you
were raised. I will inquire about past emotional, physical and
sexual abuse.
Questions
will be presented about your sexual functioning, your mood,
appetite and sleep patterns along with other mood related
symptoms. A diagnosis will be established and if you are going
to use insurance that will be necessary for your reimbursement.
How often and
how long do I come to individual therapy?
This depends
on you as a person. Most clients come weekly or every other
week. I will not work with someone less than that as doing so
is not therapy but more coaching (hyperlink to coaching).
Research shows that by the 6th to 8th session, clients either
stay in therapy or drop out. I find that clients know by
the 6th session whether therapy will be of help to them or
not.
My
recommendation is to give therapy at least 6 months. You can go
longer or shorter and it depends on your issues and how much
work you want to put into yourself.
What is the
cost and will my insurance cover you?
Individual
therapy is private and confidential. I accept payment at the
start of each session and give you a receipt that you can choose
to submit to your insurance company or not. I do not handle
insurances nor do I accept direct payment from any insurance
company or outside source. In addition to cash and checks, I
accept credit cards.
Click here for more
information on cost and the contract involved in working with
me.
Also, you
should understand the HIPPA laws if you are using insurance.
Click here for more information.
Group Therapy
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What is group
therapy?
The groups I
facilitate consist of 8 people total. It is an opportunity for
you to work out inter-personal and relational issues that you
have with others in your life. Whatever someone’s doing out in
the real world, for good or ill, they will bring it with them
into group therapy. Once they enter group therapy, I see how
they relate to others, and how others relate to them—live,
unplugged, uncensored. I can intervene, interpret and give
feedback on the spot, so that their future encounters may have a
happier outcome.
Are there
rules or guidelines in your groups?
*excerpted
from
10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives
In the groups
that I facilitate, no group member is allowed to be sexual,
date, or even socialize with any other member. There are strong
reasons for this. First, the group is where all the work needs
to be done. Problems can arise if outside sub-groups or
friendships develop. This is what makes group a therapeutic
experience which is different from it being a social group.
Only
the chemically-free may attend. If a participant is taking prescribed
medications, fine. But if he’s had even one drink for
dinner, I ask him to leave. The group is meant to trigger
feelings and runs on emotions, so anyone suppressing them with
non-prescribed drugs or alcohol is going against we’re trying to
do. Therapy can’t work if someone’s mood- and mind-altered.
Also, some
members are in recovery, so it helps to make these substances
off limits.
Can I do
group without doing individual therapy?
It depends on
the individual client. However, usually I do not bring anyone
into group without doing individual therapy. The individual
therapy does not have to be with me as the primary therapist. It
can be with another therapist as long as I am able to have
contact with that therapist and you sign a release of
information.
After some
time in group, members no longer need individual and want to
stay in group. It is then that I allow for group attendance
only. However, it is only after some time and issues that
necessitate individual therapy are resolved.
What if I
want to come for just one or two sessions?
This is not
allowed in the group therapy that I do. The commitment is 6
months at least. Most clients stay for at least two years on
average.
I have a
demanding schedule for work that takes me out of town or forces
me to work late so I will need to miss one a month at least.
Then group
therapy is not for you. Group requires you come weekly for the
maximum results. If a group member misses more than 4 in a year
that is cause to re-evaluate their commitment and their schedule
for staying in group.
What is the
cost and payment for group?
Like
individual, payment for group occurs at the start before group
begins. I do not accept insurance directly. You will get a
receipt that you can submit to your insurance yourself.
Click here for more information on
cost and the contract involved in working with me in a group
therapy setting.
Couples
Therapy
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The type of
work I do with couples is primarily Imago Relationship
Therapy. In essence, Imago
Relationship Therapy is:
Imago
Relationship Therapy puts a positive spin on what looks like a
negative in relationships after the "honeymoon is over". It says
that relationships help us finish the unfinished business in
childhood. Our partners call on line the parts of ourselves that
we had to hide, even from ourselves, otherwise known as buried
treasures. It is based on the premise that we are drawn to
partners who possess the positive and negative traits of our
primary caretakers in childhood. Partners also possess our
denied or buried traits which were not allowed to be
expressed in our childhood. However, we hire our partners as our
teachers and go kicking and screaming into the classroom. To
make the class easier there are some important tools. The
communication process includes:
-
The positive
intent of Imago is to show that we are drawn to incompatible
partners and that is necessary for our own healing and growth.
Conflict is growth trying to happen. We just need the tools to
facilitate the growth.
-
The main
focus of the couple’s work that I do is to teach communication
exercises. Couples generally enter therapy because they
do not feel safe any longer with each other and communication
has broken down.
What if my
partner or I want to see you individually?
When I see
couples I do not see the partners individually ever unless there
are special circumstances. Those circumstances would be
discussed in the initial evaluation. The couple is the client.
If one is late I do not start the appointment until the other
arrives. If one cannot make the appointment it is considered a
cancelled session. This ensures that the primary relationship I
have with you is as a couple and keeps me neutral and available
for the both of you.
What if my
partner or I need individual therapy or are in individual
therapy with someone else?
After the
initial consultation, if you are not in individual therapy and
need it, I will refer you to someone. If you are already in
individual therapy I will support that and ask that you allow
for contact between myself and the therapist for continuity of
treatment.
Are you going
to tell my partner and me how we should be a couple?
I will not to
tell you what type of relationship you should have. Instead to
help you be the type of couple you both want to be. I am there
to guide you and teach you what works and what doesn’t based on
my clinical experiences and the research and data that is out
there. In the end, however, it is you who makes the final
decision.
How often do
you see a couple and for how long?
I will see a
couple either every week or every other week depending on the
situation. I ask the couple to commit to 12 sessions along with
a couples workshop. That ensures a full commitment to the Imago
work and to each other.
Do we have to
do a workshop?
No. You can
choose not to accept the whole package. However, couples report
it is worth about 6 months of couple’s therapy and couples have
stated it made the work they did in the 12 sessions more
helpful.
Is it better
to do the workshop in the beginning or the end of the 12
sessions?
It really
depends on the couple. If the couple needs help to do the
communication exercises then going to the workshop before or
early during the 12 session commitment can be helpful. Some
couples benefit from doing it last to reinforce what they
learned in the couples therapy.
What if we
want to go less than 12 sessions or more?
I will
usually be able to tell in the first appointments whether going
less is likely. However, I tell couples the benefit of
committing to at least the 12 sessions. As we get near the 12th
session we review together whether more than the 12 sessions is
necessary. I might have a recommendation and in the end it is
the couple who decides.
Workshops
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Is the
workshop group therapy?
No. While
there is some group sharing at the beginning in terms of sharing
first names, the majority of the workshop is private. Often
couples will come through the workshop and never say anything
publicly about the inner workings of their relationship. There
is no pressure or requirement for group sharing. The
confidentiality and privacy of your relationship is assured
unless you decide to disclose yourself at the workshop.
What actually
happens at the workshop?
Couples will
receive a workshop manual and communication handouts and learn
the Intentional Dialogue along with several
other ways of communicating. The communication exercises are
done privately with you and your
partner and not in front of the group as a whole.
What if I
need to leave early or during part of the workshop?
This is not
allowed. If you register for the workshop you must attend the
entire workshop. Some exceptions are made however they are rare.
How many
others will attend?
I usually
accept 10–15 couples.
Where can I
find out about your workshop dates?
Click
here for workshop dates.
Do you do
counseling for couples or individuals in addition to the
workshop?
Yes. Ideally
couples come to see me for 12 sessions plus a couples workshop.
This short-term therapy model helps couples get the most in a
short amount of time and cost rather than other models involving
longer and more costly sessions.
Are
heterosexual couples mixed with Lesbian & Gay couples at the
workshops?
The couple’s
workshops are separate for gay/lesbian couples and heterosexual
couples.
Sometimes I
will mix them but if that were to occur you would know about
that ahead of time in case this was uncomfortable for you and
only wish to be with other couples of your romantic orientation.
Is there
group sharing?
There is very
little time to have group sharing between the couples. There are
some built in times for couples to share if they wish however
long sharings are discouraged so that the workshop stays on
track.
There is no
pressure for any couple to share anything about the inner
workings of their relationships.
What if my
partner and I want privacy at the workshop?
It is totally
up to you how private or open you want to be as a couple at the
workshop. There is no unwanted sharing. There will be myself and
those assisting me in doing the weekend who will be available to
you to assist you in doing the communication exercises. However
if you are uncomfortable having anyone help you than you can
remain on your own.
Is there help
if we get stuck in an exercise?
Yes I will be
available as well as those assisting me at the workshop trained
in helping couples get through the exercises.
Are the
Lesbian and Gay weekends separate or mixed?
Separate.
There are some workshops that I choose to do with gay and
straight couples however you would know in advance if this is
uncomfortable for you and do not wish to attend.
Where are the
workshops held?
In my Royal
Oak, MI office space. Click here for a map. Where do we
stay overnight?
Click here for a list of nearby hotels.
Do we have to
be married to attend?
No. Any
couple can attend.
What if we
are a new couple?
This is all
the better. You will get a set of tools for your tool box to use
when things get difficult in the relationship. You will be
prepared.
If my partner
will not attend can I come alone or bring a friend?
Yes even long
time friends have attended these workshops to work through
issues between them.
Our problems
are not real big, we just want to enhance our relationship. Can
we still attend?
Yes. This
workshop works for couples in very difficult places in their
relationships with long-standing conflicts as well as those in a
good place that either want to stay in a good place and/or make
it even better.
Would the
workshop help us if we are breaking up?
Yes. I have
had many couples attend who were going through a break up. They
either wanted to save the friendship between them and/or did not
want to take the unresolved material between them into the next
relationship.
Should we
read the book Getting The Love You Want before we attend?
While this is
not required it is not a bad idea. The workshop is really the
book coming to life and doing the work live. However, you are
not going to be handicapped if you do not read the book.
Should we
come to the workshop first or do some couple’s sessions with you
before the workshop?
Either way it
does not matter. It really depends on you as a couple. The ideal
package is 12 sessions and a couple’s workshop. It does not
necessarily matter what order you do it in.
Is the
workshop enough or do we also need couples therapy?
See answer to
last question. |
