Korts Korner
Kort's Korner Newsletter
In This Issue: May, 2009
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  1. About Joe's Psychotherapy and Coaching Practice
  2. 365Gay.com: Joe is the new, "Ask the expert" at LOGOonline part of MTV which is a division of Viacom International Inc.
  3. Have a foot fetish?  Think again… by Brent Concklin
  4. 2009 Spring Presentations
  5. Naughty, Naughty: Internet Infidelity is on the Rise by Anthony Martinez Beven interviews Joe Kort
  6. Joe's Books & Products (Recorded Teleclasses, Mp3's, Auto-Responders)

1. Joe Kort's Psychotherapy and Coaching Practice

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Quick Links to www.joekort.com


Individual, Group and Couple's Psychotherapy

Telephone Coaching and Consultation

Clinical Consulting and Supervision Services for Psychotherapists 

Frequently Asked Questions about hiring Joe Kort for his services

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JOE'S BLOGS:

Outside the Kort Room

An extension of my website where I periodically write about current events regarding the things I specialize in.

Straight Guise Blog

A resource about straight men who have sex with other men.

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JOE'S RELATED WEBSITES:

Gay Affirmative Therapy

A resource for therapists working with gays and lesbians.

Straight Guise

A website with information about straight men who have sex with other men

 

**These blogs are about current events, books, workshops, articles, movies

and anything related to my specialties within my private practice.

 

 

 

2. Joe is now writing for 365Gay.com owned and operated by LOGOonline part of MTV which is a division of Viacom International Inc.



I have begun an advice column on a gay owned and operated website which is related to the gay television station LOGO--part of MTV which is a division of Viacom International Inc.

I am very excited and looking forward to hearing from any of you who wish to comment on my responses or to ask a question and have me answer it on 365gay.com. You can submit a question here

Here are the two questions I answer this month:

1. My partner and I have been together for over five years. We have a happy, satisfying relationship. But whenever we go out, he’s always commenting about other guys who are hot, with comments like “What a cute behind!” He never says things like that to me. Our sex life is fantastic, and he never has complained about that. He seems very happy to be with me and tells me all the time how much he loves me. Should I mention his comments to him, or just be satisfied that he’s my lover? –Confused in Grafton, VA:

2. I am out everywhere, except at work. Being in the medical field, I work among physicians, mostly male and mostly homophobic. If I were out to them, I’m sure I’d get fired or at least, not offered advancement. I feel confined to be less than honest at work, yet I don’t want to jeopardize my job security. Does this mean I’m ashamed of being gay? –Pink Collared in Akron,

To hear my answers to these questions click here.

3. Have a foot fetish?  Think again…

 

Have a foot fetish?  Think again…

Brent Concklin, MA, LMHC 

Although generally accepted as a valid term in the world of paraphilias, foot fetish is actually a false notion.  According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders IV TR (and who is to really say that there is a disorder here anyway), fetishism is defined as “recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving the use of nonliving objects (e.g., female undergarments).” 

The key word here is nonliving.  That would disqualify a foot, assuming it is alive at the time, as an object of fetishism by definition.  And for those wondering, it is not only the DSM-IV TR that defines fetishism as such.  The World Health Organization’s ICD-10 also defines fetishism as, “Reliance on some non-living object as a stimulus for sexual arousal and sexual gratification. Many fetishes are extensions of the human body, such as articles of clothing or footwear.”  But not feet!   

What then, diagnostically speaking, is a sexual fascination with feet? 

This actually falls under the DSM-IV TR category of “Paraphilia Not Otherwise Specified,” and is known as partialism.  Partialism describes a paraphilia with “exclusive focus on part of the body.”  Having a sexual interest in feet, one would be partial to the foot as a means of sexual excitement.  The ICD-10 does not have a specific diagnosis like partialism; however the behavior can be classified as “Disorder of sexual preference, unspecified.” So, whether the APA or the WHO is governing your diagnostic adventures, one cannot really have a “foot fetish.”  In spite of these facts, the use of the term “foot fetish” will undoubtedly perpetuate in our sexual culture.  But now, you know the truth and can be a hit at your next cocktail party! 

Brent Concklin is a licensed psychotherapist in Tampa, FL.  He is a Ph.D. candidate in clinical sexology at the American Academy of Clinical Sexologists.  He is married with two boys ages 6 and 2.

 


4. 2009 Presentations

2009 PRESENTATIONS

 

41st Annual AASECT Conference in Phoenix, Arizona

"Straight Guise: Treating Heterosexual Men Who Have Sex with Men"

Saturday May 16, 2009

 

Presenter: Joe Kort, MA, MSW, LMSW

When a male client reveals he fantasizes about having sex with men, is caught looking at online gay porn and in gay chat rooms, and possibly is having sex with men, the tendency is to label the client as gay or bisexual. However, for many of these men this is not about either. A variety of reasons exist as to why men seek other men for sex which are not about a gay identity. Therapists, being politically correct, often believe the man is in denial about his homosexuality or bisexuality and move him in a direction toward coming out gay when--in fact--he is not. This presentation will discuss ways understanding the male client’s interest in sexual contact with men, and helping him decide what course of treatment is best for him.

 

Click here to listen to a preview of this audio on straight men who have sex with men in relationship with women and also if you wish to purchase it.

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Jewish Family Service of Metropolitan Detroit

Becoming the Men They Were Meant to Be: Helping Sexually Abused Males

Thursday, June 4, 2009
1:00 pm – 4:00 pm
Jewish Family Service of Metropolitan Detroit

www.jfsdetroit.org

6555 West Maple Road, West Bloomfield, MI 48322
Contact: Stephanie Appel 248-592-2667 or sappel@jfsdetroit.org

Presenter: Joe Kort, MA, MSW, LMSW

Learning Objectives:

Approximately one in six boys is sexually abused before age 16. Often males who have been sexually traumatized and/or abused behaviorally act out with affairs, have sexual identity confusion, cannot commit to partners, display hypersexuality and sexual anorexia and so on. Therapists will learn how to differentiate which types of abuse cause which type of sexual and intimacy problems in their clients’ lives, and how to assess this in therapy. Therapists will also learn the differences between overt and covert sexual abuse and the different ways these manifest in their clients’ lives.

  1. This course will review the common categories and scenarios of sexually abused men and how to identify indicators.
  2. Participants will learn about the different manifestations presented when the perpetrator is male vs. female.
  3. This course will initiate discussion and present clinical implications in the context of treating sexually abused men who are acting out.

 

 

5. "Naughty, Naughty: Internet Infidelity is on the Rise" by Anthony Martinez Beven


I was interviewed by Anthony Martinez Beven for the Oakland Press Newspaper in Michigan. Here is his article.

Naughty, Naughty: Internet Infidelity is on the Rise

Social networking Web sites, such as Craigslist, aren’t only scouting spots for killers, but they are also attracting married individuals — mostly men but increasingly more women — looking for sex. And most of the time sex is unprotected.

When entering the word “married” into the search engines of what are called “sex seeker” sites, dozens of sex ads authored by Oakland County residents are retrieved.

The headline from an ad posted on gay seeker site by a Troy man seeking action with another man reads: “Masculine married man looking to work up a sweat! Join me??” The rest of his profile text was not suitable for print.

In a 2000 study, the CDC found seeking sex partners via the Internet was relatively a common practice for men. And while more frequent for gay men, the study concluded men who seek sex using the Internet appear to be at greater risk for STDs than those who don’t. The study relied on the responses of 856 men, most of whom identified themselves as heterosexual.

According to the Michigan Department of Community Health, chlamydia among Oakland County women has increased every year between 2006 and 2008. Katie Macomber, a STD epidemiologist for the state health department, said this is due to more testing.

“Gonorrhea is more interesting to look at,” Macomber said, noting a sizable increase among Oakland County women 15 to 24, during the same time period, and a smaller increase among women 30 to 34.

There is no evidence linking an increase in chlamydia and gonorrhea among Oakland County women to men who have used the Internet to find other men for sexual escapades. But women who are married or in committed relationships with men and contract a STD are most likely to have gotten it from their partner having sex with another man.

“Men just want sex. Straight men are more willing to hook up with another male just to have a release and to end the whole search or the hunt,” said Joe Kort, a Royal Oak-based sex therapist. He stressed that condoms are rarely used.

“These men are not using protection. They’re separating it out as it didn’t happen. It’s total denial. They’ve hooked up and done it unprotected, and then they go have unprotected sex with their wives who have no idea,” Kort said.

Regardless of gender or sexual orientation, the Internet has opened the floodgates for cheating. In 2008, Craigslist Personals postings nationwide saw a 20 percent increase from 2007, the Los Angeles Times reported in December.

“It’s all about the three As: Accessibility, Affordability and Anonymity. The Internet just makes it so easy to cheat,” Kort said.

In a recent Craigslist ad, a married Farmington Hills was looking for a married woman who “daydreams about having an affair… Looking for something super discreet, random. No commitments, no drama, no strings attached. We still have our spouses and that would always take precedence.”

Online sex ads are usually graphic when describing the types of encounters being sought, and many have explicit photos posted. Most seeker sites offer free or minimal registration fees.

Kort, who treats both heterosexual and homosexual patients, said people who use these sites to cheat are the second largest group of new patients he treats.

“I’m still seeing more men than women, but research shows a 40 percent increase in women who use the Internet to cheat,” he said.

The Internet, Kort said, has helped women “open up their sexuality.” He said that while more married women are seeking same sex encounters, there are still more married men sleeping with other men.

While there were no hard numbers available, people looking to trace their spouse’s computer footprint seems to be on the increase, as well.

Lake Orion private investigator Linda Milam, who does not specialize in this type of surveillance, said, “I do refer my clients to computer and cell phone forensic specialists some of the time, and it does seem to be on the rise.”

Michael Ahern, vice president of business development for the Center for Computer Forensics in Southfield, said the company’s data recovery group works on 10 to 12 cases each year in which people want their spouses’ Internet activity traced. Recently, he said the company has had about a 30 to 40 percent increase in requests from married people on the verge of divorce.

“Some use it for evidence purposes, but most use it to make a decision on whether or not they are going to divorce their spouse,” Ahern said.

Depending on whether or not the Internet history on a computer has been deleted and if a check on e-mail communications is requested, costs to trace Internet activity range from $300 to $1,500, Ahern said.

Approximately 70 percent of time online is spent in chatrooms or sending e-mail; of these interactions, the majority are romantic in nature, according to the book "Affairs of the Net: The Cybershrinks' Guide to Online Relationships.”

Kort said one solution to the problem of cheating is sexual openness.

“A good conservation to have is, ‘How are we doing sexually?’ People are afraid to talk openly about what’s hot and what’s not hot for each other,” he said.

Out of all groups, lesbians are the least likely to cheat, Kort added. “They seem to value relationships more.”

 

 

 

6. Joe's Books and Products

Joe's Products

Visit my products Websites

At my products page, you will find everything from workshops I am doing, classes I am facilitating as well as recorded mp3's and podcasts for you to listen to if you are unable to attend any of my events live.

I hope you enjoy them and that they provide an educational resource for you from any of my specialties. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have had numerous training's in each of my specialties along with having worked with hundreds of folks who have let me into their lives and learn with them what works and what doesn't. Hopefully these classes and recordings will do the same for you!

I am working on this page all the time and adding to so please return to it and see if there are things there you would like to order including some free things as well.

The newest product I have created is an autoresponder about straight men who have sex with men. After you email the address below you will receive several emails telling you the top 5 reasons straight men choose to have sex with other men.

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For a free and confidential report on the most common questions I receive about Straight Guise sign up here ---->

JoeKortlmsw-362263@autocontactor.com

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If you want to book a signing or workshop anywhere in your area please feel free to contact Joe: joekort@joekort.com or 248-399-7317.

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10 Smart Things

Gay Men Can Do

To Improve their lives

 

Alyson Books, 2003

 

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Foreign translations of 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives

"In 2004 it was translated into German.

In 2005 it was translated into Spanish.

Order at Joe's Books



10 Smart Things

Gay Men Can Do

To Find Real Love

 

Alyson Books, 2006

 

Order at Joe's Books


Gay Affirmative Therapy

for the Straight Clinician:

The Essential Guide

WW Norton Books, 2008

 

 

Order at Joe's Books





A Gentle Press, 2008

Mending A Shattered Heart:

A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts


This book contains a chapter by psychotherapist Joe Kort on straight men who have sex with men in heterosexual marriages.

Straight Guise: Is My Partner Gay?
By Joe Kort, LMSW

It offers the female partners and spouses a guide and insight into what to do and how to handle these types of situations.

For more information Click Here

Click on Joe's Library to purchase these books.


Autographed Books

You can purchase an autographed copy of Joe's books by using a credit card or sending a check, money order by clicking here.


If you want to book a signing or workshop anywhere in your area please feel free to contact Joe: joekort@joekort.com or 248-399-7317.



Would the small child you once were look up to the adult you have become?
Copyright Joe Kort & Associates, 2008.
Contact Joe at joekort@joekort.com
Notice of copyright: This newsletter is copyright in its entirety by Joe Kort & Associates, 2008, all rights reserved, and may not be reprinted in part or whole without the express permission of the author.
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Joe Kort & Associates
25600 Woodward, Suite 218
Royal Oak, MI 48067