 April 4-5, 2009 for Lesbian & Gay
Couples
 I was drawn to the IMAGO Relationship therapy work created by Dr. Harville Hendrix because it offered easy to use and constructive tools to help couples get through the hardest dialogues.
The main focus is helping couples get through the conflict and doing so with the least amount of hurt and pain. Most couples stop talking before they reach resolution because the conflict is so disconnecting and hurtful. IMAGO uses a canoe metaphor developed by Harville Hendrix to encourage couples to stay connected during conflict and reach resolution.
STAY IN THE CANOE AND PADDLE
Advice for Couples from Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.
The process of dialogue is something like a canoe on a lake. Two people are paddling, one in the back and one in the front. They have their strokes coordinated and are gliding smoothly over the lake. The wind comes up. What do you do? Keep paddling. If one stops, the canoe will turn sideways to the wind and possibly tip over.
The waves get higher. What do you do? Turn into the waves and keep paddling, using the smooth strokes you used before the turbulence arose. If one stops paddling or comments on how the other is paddling, the canoe will turn sideways into the wave and probably flip over. Both paddlers will get wet. This is a metaphor of most fights.
However, if both persons keep paddling just as they did when the lake was placid, but with the added effort needed because of the wind and the wave, they will keep the canoe afloat and probably stay dry.
The moral of this image is "keep paddling and stay in the canoe, no matter what comes up."
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