1. About Joe's Psychotherapy and Coaching Practice
2. Joe will be interviewed on Oprah and Friends Radio Show, "Better in Bed" with Dr. Laura Berman
3. 2009 Workshop & Presentations Dates
4. Book Recommendations for Gay Teens
5. About Gay Teens and Growing up Gay and Lesbian
6. Joe's Books & Products (Recorded Teleclasses, Mp3's, Auto-Responders)

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JOE'S BLOGS:

Outside the Kort Room

An extension of my website where I periodically write about current events regarding the things I specialize in.

Straight Guise Blog

A resource about straight men who have sex with other men.

JOE'S RELATED WEBSITES:

Gay Affirmative Therapy

A resource for therapists working with gays and lesbians.

Straight Guise

A website with information about straight men who have sex with other men

These blogs are about current events, books, workshops, articles, movies and anything related to my specialties within my private practice.

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Quick Links to www.joekort.com

Individual, Group and Couple's Psychotherapy

Telephone Coaching and Consultation

Clinical Consulting and Supervision Services for Psychotherapists 

Frequently Asked Questions about hiring Joe Kort for his services

Today I will be a guest on Oprah and Friends radio show Thursday, March 5, "Better in the Bedroom" with Dr. Laura Berman at 5PM EST on XM 156 or SIRIUS 195.

I am excited about today as I will be talking about issues I feel passionate about in terms of sexuality--gay teens and straight men who have sex with men who are not gay or bisexual on Oprah and Friends with Dr. Laura Berman today at 5PM EST on Satellite Radio.
 
So much of my work is helping folks understand that gay and lesbian adults were once gay and lesbian children. My thesis in my latest book for straight therapists is entirely about growing up gay and the trauma these children experience in terms of hearing negativity in the media, schools, families, and books they are reading.

Perhaps the biggest problem which I address is the book is the neglect of lesbian and gay children. We don't provide them with positive role models, they don't hear the positive histories and contributions lesbians and gays have made in our world and they cannot talk about concerns and questions they may have about themselves or someone they love without getting a negative response from others.

The most recent project I am working on is about straight men having sex with other men. I am especially interested in helping couples understand why a man would view gay porn and even have sexual contact with another man and still be heterosexual. This will also be addressed on Dr. Berman's show.

Thanks for your interest in my work. I hope what I do makes the world a better place. We are all still pioneers in the field of sexuality!!

Warmly,

Joe Kort, MA, MSW, LMSW

What if you cannot listen in today? It will be archived here.

3. 2009 Workshops & Presentations

I maintain an updated list of book recommendations at my website http://www.gayaffirmativetherapy.com/default.asp?id=1155. Along with books about lesbian and gay teenagers I have listed other books related to homosexuality, bisexuality, lesbianism and Transgendered issues.

If you don't see a book that you think should be listed here please let me know.

5. About Gay Teens and Growing up Gay and Lesbian

— Carson Kressley, of the TV show Queer

Eye for the Straight Guy, to Oprah Winfrey

This epigraph—although funny—is based on the reality that lesbian and gay children know from a very young age that they are different. They may not know exactly how they’re different or what to call themselves, because there is little to no permission to explore anything other than heterosexuality, but they still know they aren’t like most other children. GAT acknowledges that homosexuality in children exists—from birth. To deny this would be to believe that homosexuality comes from life experiences that change an innate heterosexual orientation.

Many lesbians and gays aren’t able to identify what makes them different until adolescence. As children, they received messages—verbal and nonverbal—about how to sit, walk, dress, talk, and so on. One client told me he hadn’t danced for 30 years because he thought being a good dancer would out him as gay. Another man told me that since his teens, he’d been careful about how he dressed because the clothes he felt drawn to were ones his peers saw as “gay.” A lesbian client said that she wore dresses, grew her nails long, and used nail polish even though she felt uncomfortable doing so—just to pass as heterosexual.

Clients also talk about playground prejudice they encountered, and how it was typically discounted. Adults assume that if heterosexual children hurl “That is so gay!” slurs and chortle over homophobic jokes, no harm is being done. But gay and lesbian children pay attention to what other kids are saying and doing—and to what the teachers are allowing. They get the message that it’s okay to demean others by calling them “fags” or “dykes.”

I don’t mean to imply that there is only one type of gay boy or lesbian girl, or one way of growing up homosexual. However, there is little discussion, let alone research, that focuses on the traumatic experience and shame of growing up gay and lesbian. One excellent book that does tackle this subject is Jean M. Baker’s (2002) How Homophobia Hurts Children. In it she talks about how not anticipating or knowing your child might be or is gay can have a negative effect on the child.

Given all of this, it doesn’t matter how functional one’s family of origin is—a gay or lesbian child can inadvertently experience trauma both within the family and outside of it. Remembering that your clients were once gay children who endured trauma while growing up will help you better understand them and how to work with them.

From the Beginning: Gays and Lesbians as Children

When I talk about gay and lesbian children, the one question I’m commonly asked is “How can you tell if a child or teenager is gay or lesbian?” I don’t have an answer for that, and I haven’t found any scientific literature that claims to, either. There are anecdotal writings from mothers and fathers who, looking back, recall signs that their children might be gay. One thing I do stress is that, as I mentioned earlier, every lesbian or gay adult was once a gay or lesbian child.

However, many people—including too many psychotherapists—do not believe this. They cannot imagine that a child before the age of 12 (or even an adolescent) can be born with and have a fixed homosexual sexual/romantic identity. They can imagine the child being born with and having a fixed heterosexual identity, however, as all children (and adults, for that matter) must be heterosexual unless proven otherwise.

When I ask therapists about this they often say they don’t even think of children and teenagers as gay or straight. However, they will ask their young clients if they have romantic interests in the opposite sex and assume they are heterosexual. This is their covert homophobia in their countertransference. When I teach and lecture about GAT to therapists, usually half the audience believes that one is born gay or lesbian and the other half believes that one becomes gay through learning and from environmental factors.  It makes straight individuals, even therapists, uncomfortable and anxious to consider a child gay or lesbian.  Their anxiety results from their belief that homosexuality is an adult, primarily sexual experience. However, being gay is about having an identity, just as being straight is.  In other words, sex and sexuality are present in both orientations. But homosexuality is overly sexualized by others, an important point that is discussed in more depth in Chapter 4.

Children and teenagers can handle a lesbian or gay orientation within themselves. What they cannot handle is the trauma of concealing it, not being able to express it or talk about it, and the negativity surrounding it by others around them.

For more you can order my book through amazon.com by clicking here.

Joe's Products

Visit my products Websites

At my products page, you will find everything from workshops I am doing, classes I am facilitating as well as recorded mp3's and podcasts for you to listen to if you are unable to attend any of my events live.

I hope you enjoy them and that they provide an educational resource for you from any of my specialties. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have had numerous trainings in each of my specialties along with having worked with hundreds of folks who have let me into their lives and learn with them what works and what doesn't. Hopefully these classes and recordings will do the same for you!

I am working on this page all the time and adding to so please return to it and see if there are things there you would like to order including some free things as well.

The newest product I have created is an autoresponder about straight men who have sex with men. After you email the address below you will receive several emails telling you the top 5 reasons straight men choose to have sex with other men.

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For a free and confidential report on the most common questions I receive about Straight Guise sign up here ---->

JoeKortlmsw-362263@autocontactor.com

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If you want to book a signing or workshop anywhere in your area please feel free to contact Joe: joekort@joekort.com or 248-399-7317.

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10 Smart Things

Gay Men Can Do

To Improve their lives

Alyson Books, 2003

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Foreign translations of 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives

"In 2004 it was translated into German.

In 2005 it was translated into Spanish.

Order at Joe's Books

10 Smart Things

Gay Men Can Do

To Find Real Love

Alyson Books, 2006

Order at Joe's Books

Gay Affirmative Therapy

for the Straight Clinician:

The Essential Guide

WW Norton Books, 2008

Order at Joe's Books

A Gentle Press, 2008

Mending A Shattered Heart:

A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts

This book contains a chapter by psychotherapist Joe Kort on straight men who have sex with men in heterosexual marriages.

Straight Guise: Is My Partner Gay?
By Joe Kort, LMSW

It offers the female partners and spouses a guide and insight into what to do and how to handle these types of situations.

For more information Click Here

Click on Joe's Library to purchase these books.

Autographed Books

You can purchase an autographed copy of Joe's books by using a credit card or sending a check, money order by clicking here.

If you want to book a signing or workshop anywhere in your area please feel free to contact Joe: joekort@joekort.com or 248-399-7317.

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Joe Kort & Associates
25600 Woodward, Suite 218
Royal Oak, MI 48067