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IN THIS ISSUE OF KORT'S KORNER:

News from Joe Kort & Associates & Joe's Blogs

Heterosexual Couple's Workshop: November 9-11, 2007

Harry Potter (and Babies) comes out of the closet

Book Review: Dude, You're a Fag by C.J. Pascoe

Comic Relief: "I'm Not Gay" Video

Joe's Book Updates: Gay Affirmative Therapy for the Straight Clinician: The Essential Guide MARCH, 2007

For past issues of Kort's Korner go to the archives at

To read Joe's blogs called Outside The Kort Room and Straight Guise It is about current events, books, workshops, articles, movies and anything related to my specialties within my private practice.

Joe Kort's areas of expertise for individuals and couples are:

Individual, Group and Couple's Psychotherapy

Telephone Coaching and Consultation

Clinical Consulting and Supervision Services for Psychotherapists

Frequently Asked Questions about hiring Joe Kort for his services

Joe Kort's areas of specialties are:

Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity
Sexual Anorexia
Sexual Abuse
Straight men who have sex with men
Erotic Intelligence
Chemical Dependency
Imago Relationship Therapy
Monogamy/Nonmonogamy Issues
Breakup Recovery
Coming Out Issues
Gay Affirmative Therapy
Depression and Anxiety Disorders

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LEARN HOW TO DISARM--NOT STRONG ARM--YOUR PARTNER IN COMMUNICATION

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"Getting The Love You Want" Heterosexual Couples Workshop in
Royal Oak, MI

Heterosexual Couples Workshop November 9-11, 2007

Royal Oak, Michigan in Joe Kort's Office
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These workshops are for couples and singles based on the best-selling books, "Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples" and “Keeping The Love You Find: A Guide for Singles” both by Dr. Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. which can be purchased in Joe's library

ABOUT THE COUPLE'S WORKSHOPS

The couple’s workshops are worth 6 months of work and time in couple's therapy. While not a therapy weekend, it is very psycho-educational and therapeutic. You will learn several effective communication exercises which start you in the right direction to work through hard conversations and resolve conflicts with your partner

This is not group therapy of any kind.

Couples often worry that they will be asked to disclose personal information within their relationship. This is not true. The majority of the workshop is private for the couples in terms of what they are discussing. Often couples will come through the workshop and never say anything publicly about the inner workings of their relationship. There is no pressure or requirement for group sharing. The confidentiality and privacy of your relationship is assured unless you decide to disclose yourself at the workshop. This keeps the workshop safe and effective.

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For more information about cost and times and/or to register for the Relationship Classes and Workshops go to REGISTRATION

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GROUP THERAPY OPENINGS FOR GAY MEN ARE ALSO AVAILABLE.
Tuesdays 5:30 to 7:30PMRoyal Oak, MI

For more information go to http://www.joekort.com/tgroup1.htm.
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The question is, "What is wrong with that?"

How can this affect children in any other way than positive? I hope the debate starts a conversation around the world that it is okay for children not only to know about and be around homosexuality but that it is okay if they are gay too.

Children struggling with whether or not they might be gay or have parents who are gay and even just hearing about others who are gay will now have a positive reference to consider.

The worst I can see happening? That homophobia starts falling away with this young generation reading children's books that include homosexuality.

Dumbledore is gay.

Harry Potter fans' favorite magical, wand-wielding headmaster is gay, says the series' author, and as it turns out, many bookworms don't love him any less because of it.

Parents around the country told ABCNEWS.com that when their children heard the news that professor Albus Dumbledore — who was also Potter's mentor — was gay, most of them shrugged it off.

To read more go to Dumbledore is gay.

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Baby Used in Homosexual Ad Campaign - Vatican Objects
By Deacon Keith Fournier

The “Tuscan initiative”, sponsored by Italy's equal opportunities ministry, promotes a billboard advertising campaign which uses a photo of a baby to express its message concerning homosexuality.

Again, my question as a gay man and gay therapist is, "What is wrong with considering babies and children as gay or lesbian?"

The article is about the Vatican objecting to an ad against discrimination of homosexuality showing a baby wearing a hospital bracelet.

The hospital bracelet worn by the newborn bears the French word
"homosexuel" in the place where the child’s name would normally be placed to
tell the waiting world of his or her identity. The campaign slogan is
"Sexual orientation is not a choice."

The Vatican and others are criticizing it including a gay man himself:

Yet, Gianni Vattimo, well known postmodern philosopher, a self professed homosexual, is critical of the advertising campaign. In an interview with the daily "Corriere della Sera"
newspaper he questioned the idea that homosexuality is genetic.

As for the billboard campaign, he said, "The initiative is in bad taste....."

Bad taste?? What is "in bad taste" about considering a baby to be gay?

The reason anyone would think this is in bad taste is that no one likes to think of children as already being homosexual and later coming out as gay.

My thoughts are that it is because when people hear the word gay they only hear "gay adult sex". They don't consider homosexuality as anything other than sexual. But when we think of children being straight we don't think of "straight adult sex". We think of them being romantic and cute with opposite gender peers and teachers.

"Do you have a crush on Mrs. T?" we ask a kindergarten boy.

"Do you like Bobby in class?" we ask the first grade girl.

This usually means something romantic and sweet--not sexual!

So why do people think of gay children as sexual and not sweet?

What do people think of this? Why is this?

To blog about this go to Outside the Kort Room.

“I’m talking like sixth grade, I started being called a fag. Fifth grade I was called a fag. Third grade I was called a fag,” seventeen-year-old Ricky recounted as we sat at a plastic picnic table outside of a fast food restaurant in California’s Sacramento delta region. Though he experienced this type of harassment throughout elementary and junior high school, Ricky said that the threats intensified as he entered River High School.

At “all the schools the verbal part . . . the slang, ‘the fag,’ the ‘fuckin’ freak,’ ‘fucking fag,’ all that stuff is all the same. But this is the only school that throws water bottles, throws rocks, and throws food.” Harassment like this hounded him out of his school’s homecoming football game. “Two guys started walking up to get tickets said, ‘There’s that fucking fag.’” During the game boys threw balloons and bottles at Ricky along with comments like, “What the fuck is that fag doing here? That fag has no right to be here.”

While this singular event stands out as particularly hate filled, Ricky’s story also illustrates the larger problems of homophobia and gender-based teasing in high school. Homophobic taunting is especially intense during adolescence, a time when sexuality and romance are at the fore of social life. For boys, and not just those who are branded as gay, walking through a hallway is like running a gauntlet of homophobic insults as their male classmates imitate effeminate men and hurl homophobic slurs. My book, Dude, You’re a Fag: Masculinity and Sexuality in High School, examines this ubiquitous homophobia. During my year and a half of research at River High, I found that these comments, when coming from and directed at boys, often have as much to do with shoring up definitions of masculinity as they do with reinforcing notions of “normal” heterosexuality.

This is particularly true of the slur “fag.” While the term “gay” is frequently used as a synonym for stupid, it lacks the gender loaded skew of the term “fag.” Oftentimes when boys call someone a “fag” they simultaneously imitate effeminate men (in other words, behavior they consider to be “fag-like”). Their homophobic comments, jokes, and interactions, in a sense, serve to punish others into behaving in stereotypically masculine ways. Though homophobia is usually thought of as fear of same sex attraction, in high school, boys’ homophobia is also about policing gendered norms.

At River High I saw and heard boys imitate effeminate behavior and hurl the word “fag” so frequently at one another that I came to call it a “fag discourse.” Invoking this epithet and joking about “fags” were not just random incidents, but systemic and well accepted ways for teenage boys to communicate. Boys talked about others they considered to be “fags,” made jokes about unmasculine mannerisms, imitated those mannerisms, and used the term to insult one another both jokingly and seriously. They lisped, pretended to lust after men, and drew laughs from primarily male onlookers. They frantically lobbed the epithet at one another, in a sort of compulsive name calling ritual. Because the “fag” slur is and isn’t about sexual desire, both self-identified gay boys and heterosexual boys were subject to the label for failing at stereotypically masculine tasks or revealing, in any way, weakness or femininity.

Gendered Homophobia

When I asked boys at River High why they so frequently deployed the term and regularly imitated what they saw as unmasculine men, many readily answered that such homophobia was simply part of what it meant to be a teenage guy. Keith explained, “I think guys are just homophobic.” Regardless of assertions like these, their homophobia, for the most part, did not extend to girls. While Jake told me that he didn’t like gay people, he quickly added, “Lesbians, okay, that’s good!” *Ray explained the seeming discrepancy to me: “To see two hot chicks banging bodies in a bed, that’s like every guy’s fantasy right there. It’s the truth. I’ve heard it so many times.”

What did the boys mean when they call another boy a “fag”? Jeremy told me, “To call someone gay or fag is like the lowest thing you can call someone. Because that’s like saying that you’re nothing.” Though many boys described the widespread acceptance of homophobia at their school, they also said the term “fag” did not necessarily have sexual implications. Darnell told me, “It doesn’t even have anything to do with being gay.” Similarly J.L. said, “Fag, seriously it has nothing to do with sexual preference at all. You could just be calling somebody an idiot, you know?” As David put it, “Being gay is just a lifestyle. It’s someone you choose to sleep with. You can still throw around a football and be gay.” In other words, a guy could be gay so long as he acted sufficiently masculine.

To read more of this article go to Dude You're A Fag.

A funny video about Sen. Larry Craig.

Introduction
Start Your Hero's Journey and Let Your Initiation Begin!
Chapter 1
Live in Integrity and Be Accountable to Yourself and Your Partner
Chapter 2
Become the Man You Were Meant to Be
Chapter 3
Discover How What You Hate Can Help You Love
Chapter 4
Go from a Gay Boy to a Gay Man with Your Father
Chapter 5
Recognize the Difference Between Mommy Nearest, Mommy Dearest, and Mommy Queerest
Chapter 6
Learn How To Disarm--Not Strong-arm--Your Partner In Communication
Chapter 7
Know Your Sexual Shadow
Chapter 8
Understand the New Mixed Marriage: When Three's a Crowd
Chapter 9
How to Call It Quits Without Being a Quitter
Chapter 10
Bring Your Own Shadow

By showing how to look closely at the deepest sources of your wants and needs,
"10 SMART THINGS GAY MEN CAN DO TO FIND REAL LOVE"
will help you achieve the kind of lasting close relationships you deserve.

Visit Joe's library to purchase the book.
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"10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives

Introduction
What Works? And What Doesn’t
Chapter 1
Take Charge of Their Own Lives
Chapter 2
Affirm Themselves by Coming Out
Chapter 3
Resolve Differences With Parents and Relatives
Chapter 4
"Graduate" From Delayed Adolescence
Chapter 5
Avoid-or Overcome-Sexual Addiction
Chapter 6
Learn from Successful Mentors Who've Been There, Done That
Chapter 7
Take Advantage of "Therapy Workouts"
Chapter 8
Achieve-and Maintain-Rewarding Relationships
Chapter 9
Understand the Stages of Loves
Chapter 10
Commit to Their Partner

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Foreign translations of Joe's First Book

"10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives" was originally published in 2003. In 2004 it was translated in both German and in Spanish.

Each of these books can be ordered at Joe's Books
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Click on the images of the books to purchase Joe's two published books at Joe's library .
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Now ready for PRE-ORDER:

Gay Affirmative Therapy for the Straight Clinician:
The Essential Guide

In press
from WW Norton Books due out in 2008*

The FIRST BOOK for helping straight clinicians work with Gays and Lesbians
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As a psychotherapist, if you have gay and lesbian clients,

It’s not enough to be gay-friendly.

The fact is, even the best intentioned therapists have some level of homophobia to overcome.

From birth, heterosexist culture imprints us to think that heterosexuality is primary, and that any other orientation is inferior.

It’s not even enough to be gay yourself.

Gay or straight, we’re taught the homo-negative belief that the "alternate lifestyle" of being gay is a more difficult way to live. But the "alternative" of living heterosexually is actually harder for gay men and lesbians, and can lead only to depression and self-defeating, or even self-destructive behaviors.

Learn the issues that gay men and lesbians face.

They may surprise you!

To pre-order click here >>> "Gay Affirmative Therapy for the Straight Clinician: The Essential Guide" by Joe Kort, MSW, LMSW

This book will offer skills and information to straight therapist working with gay, bisexual and lesbian clients. It is not enough to be gay friendly. It is crucial that therapists be armed with the facts and information to do effective work with their gay, lesbian and bisexual clients.

It is based on my work with Gay and Lesbian clients, my own personal journey as a gay male and psychotherapist of 21 years, along with the information I teach at Wayne State University's School of Social Work on Lesbian and Gay Studies
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Autographed Books

You can purchase an autographed copy of Joe's books by using a credit card or sending a check, money order to

Joe Kort, LMSW, 25600 Woodward Ave., Suite 218, Royal Oak, MI 48067

$25 per book (includes shipping and handling)
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If you want to book a signing or workshop anywhere in your area please feel free to contact me at joekort@joekort.com or 248-399-7317.