1. News from Joe Kort & Associates 

2. "Treating Sexual Addiction and Chemical Dependency"

3. Queer Ear for the Straight Clinician: A Marriage Riddle for You: Marriage for gays in the US

4. 2007 Workshop Dates for Couples and Relationship Classes

5. "50 First Marriages" by Joe Kort, LMSW

6. Joe's Book Updates and Booksignings with A Different Light Bookstore in LA January 8, 2007

If you are new to Kort's Korner I want to welcome you. If you were gone for a while and have returned I want to welcome you back. And if you know of others would be interested in this newsletter please feel free to forward it onto them.
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Riddle:

How can you get married 50 times, not be divorced in between, and never be married to anyone else?

Become gay or lesbian! Because that is what is happening in this country right now.

I wrote a tongue-in-cheek article on being married and gay that you can read below called, "50 First Marriages".

In the Queer Ear for the Straight Therapist section I urge straight therapists to understand the psychological consequences of the current politics affecting the lives of gays and lesbians. How can relationships be expected to last and grow when their very existance is shut out from the institution of marriage.

I will be doing my trainings and talks starting this year in Los Angeles and then will be heading to Washington DC, Toronto and possibly Palm Springs.

And finally I will be facilitating a lesbian and gay couple's workshop in April, 2007 and a Relationship Class for straight, bisexual and gay/lesbian individuals for six weeks in April as well in Royal Oak, MI.

Have a great January and HAPPY New Year!

Warmly, Joe Kort, LMSW

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JOE KORT & ASSOCIATES OFFERINGS:

Psychotherapy Services

Telephone Coaching and Consultation

Clinical Consulting and Supervision Services for Psychotherapists

Frequently Asked Questions

The following are Joe Kort's areas of specialties:

Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity

Sexual Anorexia

Sexual Abuse

Straight men who have sex with men

Erotic Intelligence

Chemical Dependency

Imago Relationship Therapy

Monogamy/Nonmonogamy Issues

Breakup Recovery

Coming Out Issues

Gay Affirmative Therapy

Depression and Anxiety Disorders
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Standing in the Shadows of Recovery

Monday, January 8, 7:30 - 9 p.m.

LOCATION: The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, Advocate Gallery

SPEAKER: Joe Kort

COURSE CODE: NA

COURSE TYPE: Workshop

This is a FREE Workshop

No RSVP required. This FREE workshop, presented in collaboration wtih A Different Light Bookstore and Alternatives, Inc., will take you through guided imagery and experimental exercises to explore your own recovery shadows. Uncover the buried parts of yourself that can trigger relapse. Knowing and owning yoru shadows can reduce relapse thoughts and behavior.
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Treating Co-Occurring Disorders
Chemical Dependency and Sexual Addiction”

A Behavioral Health Professional Seminar

Tuesday, January 9, 8:30 am – Noon

Glendale Memorial Hospital Auditorium
1420 S. Central Ave.
Glendale, CA 91204

3 CEU’s: Board of Behavioral Sciences Provider # PCE2854, Board Of Registered Nurses, BRN Provider # 13569
RSVP by 12/15/06

Call (866) 594-8844

$50.00 Seminar Fee

To identify the signs and clinical effects of, and the interactions between chemical dependency and sexual addiction;

To understand current clinical strategies for intervening with drug/ alcohol addiction and compulsive sexual behavior;

To develop and implement strategies designed to prompt treatment compliance and motivation, and to prompt trigger identification and avoidance;

To understand continuity of care resources and supports for the recovery from drug and sex addiction;

To improve clinical outcomes through understanding and integrating sound relapse prevention, compulsive sex and drug addiction therapies, while addressing paired drug use/ cravings and libidinal cues/ sexual behavior.

Presenter: Joe Kort, MSW

Presented By: Twin Town Treatment Centers, Alternatives,
Crossroads Centre Antigua, Glendale Memorial Hospital Alpha Treatment Center

There are psychological consequences that negatively affect gays and lesbians by not being able to marry. Your clients may not be able to articulate these and might not bring them to their sessions. It is the role of the clinician to explore them.

Questions to ask your couples are:

Do you consider yourselves married even though you cannot be legally on a Federal level?

Would you have a ceremony if you could be legally married? Why or why not?

As a couple how do you think not being able to be legally married affects your relationship?

Questions to ask yourself as a clinician about gay marriage are:

Do you see your lesbian and gay clients relationship in a different light than your heterosexual married couples?

Are you for or against gay marriage? Why or why not? How does that affect your work with them.
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The New York Times reported that New Jersey's governor signed legislation Thursday December 21, 2006 giving gay couples the right to have civil unions--making it the third state now in the United States to offer civil unions. This is not marriage however. Marriage is a federally sanctioned institution that offers federal rights and privileges that are not granted on a state level.

When I do talks on marriage for gays and lesbians I often get feedback from others telling me not to compare how gays & lesbians to other minorities who are discriminated. They tell me that being a person of color, being physically challenged, and being a woman are not things they can hide or change as is being gay or lesbian.

I agree and honor the differences between minorities but no one can disagree that the arguments used against other minorities are the same used towards gays and lesbians.

Consider this quote from the New York Times in 1965 on interracial marriage:

"Almighty God created the races, white, black, yellow, malay, and red and placed them on separate continents, and but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend the races to mix."
- Judge Bazile, Caroline County, VA, 1965.

Believe it or not this is an actual quote from a bigoted judge on interracial marriage. Did you know that interracial marriage was not legal in every state until 1969!
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Relationship Class Tuesdays 8-10PM April 17-May 22, 2007

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I am presenting this workshop for couples and Relationship Class for singles based on the best-selling book, "Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples" by Dr. Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. which can be purchased in Joe's library

The couple's workshop is worth 6 months worth of work and time in couple's therapy. While not a therapy weekend, it is very psycho-educational and therapeutic. You will learn several effective communication exercises which start you in the right direction to work through hard conversations and resolve conflicts with your partner

The workshop and class is not group therapy of any kind.

Couples often worry that they will be asked to disclose personal information within their relationship. This is not true. The majority of the workshop is private for the couples in terms of what they are discussing. Often couples will come through the workshop and never say anything publicly about the inner workings of their relationship. There is no pressure or requirement for group sharing. The confidentiality and privacy of your relationship is assured unless you decide to disclose yourself at the workshop. This keeps the workshop safe and effective.

The workshops and classes are based on Imago Relationship Therapy.
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For more information about cost and times and/or to register for the Couples Workshops and Relationship classes go to REGISTRATION

This statement sounds like either a riddle or a paragraph from the life of Elizabeth Taylor or Zsa Zsa Gabor. The truth is, we were religiously wed under Reform Judaism in the fall of 2000. Our family and friends joined us, and for us it was a romantic, emotional, affectionate and spiritual day. However, as we all know, it was not legal. Under Reform Judaism, all we had to do was agree to raise our dog Jewish and we assured the rabbi she would have a “Bark Mitzvah.” For us though, this marriage was political. We wanted to be a part of the process of legalizing marriage for gays by participating as it unfolds. As in the movie, 50 First Dates, we’re intending to hold 49 more first marriages.

Ironically, only four hours after our legal nuptials in Massachusetts, we learned that California had nullified the 4,000 marriages they licensed over the summer. What a letdown! And we knew that the minute we returned to Michigan, our license would be nullified as well —but we didn’t care. We wanted to go through the process anyway.

Read the rest of 50 First Marriages

A Booksigning with Joe Kort will be at the Monday night event at the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Community Center.

Los Angeles, CA
January 8, 2007.
For more information go to http://A Different Light Bookstore

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About "10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Find Real Love":

Chapter 1: Live in Integrity and Be Accountable to Yourself and Your Partner

Chapter 2: Become the Man You Were Meant to Be

Chapter 3: Discover How What You Hate Can Help You Love

Chapter 4: Go from a Gay Boy to a Gay Man with Your Father

Chapter 5: Recognize the Difference Between Mommy Nearest, Mommy Dearest, and Mommy Queerest

Chapter 6: Learn How To Disarm--Not Strong-arm--Your Partner In Communication

Chapter 7: Know Your Sexual Shadow

Chapter 8: Understand the New Mixed Marriage: When Three's a Crowd

Chapter 9: How to Call It Quits Without Being a Quitter

Chapter 10: Bring Your Own Shadow

Introduction: Start Your Hero's Journey and Let Your Initiation Begin!

By showing how to look closely at the deepest sources of your wants and needs, "10 SMART THINGS GAY MEN CAN DO TO FIND REAL LOVE" will help you achieve the kind of lasting close relationships you deserve.

Read an introduction to the book.

Visit http://www.amazon.com to purchase the book.

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Foreign translations of Joe's First Book

"10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives" was originally published in 2003. In 2004 it was translated in both German and in Spanish.

Each of these books can be ordered at German Translation: and Spanish Translation:
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Click on the images of the books to purchase Joe's two published books at Joe's library .

If you want to book a signing or workshop anywhere in your area please feel free to contact me at joekort@joekort.com or 248-399-7317.