• News at Joe Kort & Associates
  
• Joe's book recommendations for February, "Living Two Lives"
  
• Reclaiming The Man In The Mirror Workshop for Gay Men April 9-14, 2006
  
• Lesbian and Gay Imago Couples Workshop May 5-17, 2006
  
• Knowing Your Sexual Shadow Talk February 15, 2006
  
• Joe's book updates and booksignings

Beginning this year I have started telephone coaching and plan to have teleclasses based on the information in both of my books.My coaching practice will be for both gay and straight clients.

Since having published my first book in 2003 I have had many requests to talk for individual and couples therapy over the phone. I have declined as the telephone is not a great medium for psychotherapy. Missing are the visual cues necessary to make psychotherapy deepen and meaningful.

Coaching, on the other hand, is very effective over the telephone. Coaching is based on helping individuals in the present and future and does not focus on one's past. It is less emotionally based than psychotherapy and more result oriented.

The issues I specialize in coaching will be similar to the issues people come to me for in psychotherapy. The difference is in the approaches.

These issues include but are not limited to:

Sexual Addiction
Erotic Intelligence
Couples communication and resolve longstanding conflicts
Improve dating skills
Responsible Non-Monogamy
Coming out issues
Break up recovery

For more information about hiring me as a coach and my upcoming teleclassess go to joekort.com

With the increased visibility of women married to gay men in the media and talk shows and the gay men coming out to their wives and talking about the "Down Low", this book is an excellent addition to the growing body of literature of these mixed orientation marriages.

What I like most about Fleisher's book is that it is a guide to help the women deal with her coming out process and that it also guides her on how to come out to her husband.

Most notable in this book is how to come out to your children.

The author does a great job preparing women on the advantages and potential pitfalls that may occur during their coming out process.

Here is an article she wrote which summarizes her book as well as her work with these women.

Helping Families with a Gay Spouse
By Joanne Fleisher

”In a given hour, I go from feeling excited, calm and so bloody sure of myself to feeling hopeless and scared.”

This married woman’s description of her coming out process captures the whirlwind of emotions that sends most women into crisis. In my Philadelphia practice, I’ve counseled hundreds of married gay women. They come from all across the country. We work individually, in workshops, on the Internet, and by phone. These women and the people in their lives are the source of research for my book, Living Two Lives: Married to a Man and In Love with a Woman, Alyson Books

Women’s sexual identity may change throughout life for several reasons. Some women hide or disown parts of the self in order to survive in a homophobic home or social environment. For some, sexual identity will prove to be fluid, shifting after they’ve made critical life decisions, such as commitment to a life-long marriage. Imago Therapy proposes that we unconsciously choose our primary love partner to restore our original state of security, sense of aliveness, and freedom of expression. It may be impossible, however, to have an Imago love relationship that heals the deepest childhood wounds if we have chosen a partner of the wrong gender.

When a woman recognizes her same-sex attraction, she may feel a shade has lifted; she feels alive, perhaps for the first time. She comes home to herself. This woman now faces ethical dilemmas that pit her personal happiness and authenticity against commitments she’s made in the creation of a family. The most painful part of her struggle is the hurt and upheaval that she causes her spouse and children.

Both spouses can benefit from individual and couples therapy. The married woman, in individual therapy, must clarify her sexual identity. She needs to face her fears: possible loss of family, children, and loved ones. As a therapist, you can help her to confront both internal and external homophobia and determine which values and beliefs need to be re-examined in light of her new insights.

Surprisingly, husbands are frequently supportive of their wives’ struggle, even at the expense of their own happiness. In individual therapy, husbands should stay focused on themselves and what they need to get the love they want. They must define their limits and boundaries for a fulfilling marriage.

Imago couples therapy offers a place for both spouses to speak their truth. They must look at their options and decide whether sexual orientation differences will impede their ability to have a healing relationship that promotes growth. When children are involved, it’s especially important to set the groundwork for maintaining compassion, good negotiation skills, and a safe environment for everyone in the family.

Joanne Fleisher, LCSW is a certified Imago therapist and author of Living Two Lives: Married to a Man and In Love with a Woman, Alyson Books

This workshop is for partnered and/or single gay men. While male couples can attend it is not designed for the couple. Both partners can work together in exercises but the focus will be on them individually.

Come to UNCOVER and DISCOVER your Sexual Shadow!
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ABOUT THE WORKSHOP:

We live in a sexually illiterate society. There is little to no permission to examine openly our sexuality in terms of orientation, behavior and fantasies. Most people, gay and straight alike, do not know if their sexual fantasies and/or sexual acts are healthy versus unhealthy. While gay men are more inclined to act out their sexual desires and fantasies more openly than their heterosexual counterparts, there still lies confusion as to what is positive and self-affirming and what is not.

There is also confusion about what is sex, what is love and what is intimacy. This workshop will explore the definitions of each of these and how to integrate them all together for gay men. Much of our culture as gay men, as well as for our heterosexual counterparts, are confused about how to make this integration. There is also confusion about how to have healthy sex, love and intimacy without having to have all of them combined.

This workshop will help clarify all of this.

• How do you define sex?

• What is healthy versus unhealthy sex?

• Do you understand the secret logic of your sexual fantasies?

• What is your sexual shadow?

• Are you sexually addicted, compulsive or just have a large sexual appetite?

• Do you carry sexual shame?

• How do you feel about your body?

• Do you want to improve your sex life?

• Are you getting the love you want in your relationship?

• Are you keeping the love you find when you think you found Mr. Right?

• What is your definition of love?

• What is your definition of intimacy?

• What are the stages of love?

These are just some of the questions we will be examining at the upcoming workshop. The workshop will include guided imagery, experiential exercises, communication exercises and lectures.

We will explore sexual behavior and fantasies with understanding, compassion, and without judgment.

For more information about Reclaiming the Man in the Mirror and for cost, times and registration go to Registration

Royal Oak, Michigan in Joe Kort's Office
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I am presenting these workshops for couples based on the best-selling book, "Getting The Love You Want: A Guide For Couples" by Dr. Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. This workshop is worth 6 months worth of work and time in couple's therapy. While not a therapy weekend, it is very psycho-educational and therapeutic. You will learn several effective communication exercises which start you in the right direction to work through hard conversations and resolve conflicts with your partner

This is not group therapy of any kind. Couples often worry that they will be asked to disclose personal information within their relationship. This is not true. The majority of the workshop is private for the couples in terms of what they are discussing. Often couples will come through the workshop and never say anything publicly about the inner workings of their relationship. There is no pressure or requirement for group sharing. The confidentiality and privacy of your relationship is assured unless you decide to disclose yourself at the workshop. This keeps the workshop safe and effective.

For more information about cost and times and/or to register Getting The Love You Want Couples Workshop
Gay and Lesbian Workshop REGISTRATION

Sponsored by LIFE Detroit (Leather Institue for Education)

“We all have a sexual shadow. What is your sexual shadow? How can you learn about and from your sexual shadow? Is it standing in the way of finding real love? Can knowing it help you find a partner? Yes, it can help and hinder relationships – Joe Kort

Tickets are available by email; lifedetroit1@yahoo.com, hardguy24U@aol.com , or shane@shanejourney.com .

Tickets are $8.00 and can also be purchased at the door.

(An RSVP is suggested but not required)

Ticket purchase automatically qualifies you as a participant in the drawing for one of two books the Joe will be autographing at this event.

For more information on this event and other LIFE Detroit events go to Sexual Shadow Registration

Just 4 Us Bookstore
211 W. Nine Mile Road
Ferndale, MI 48220
www.just4usmi.com
248-547-5878
Saturday February 11, 2006
1:00PM

Common Language Bookstore
www.glbtbooks.com
317 Braun Court
Ann Arbor, MI 48104
Contact owners Keith Orr & Martin Contreras
734-663-0036
Thursday February 16, 2006
7:00PM

Lambda Rising
Washington, DC
March 16, 2006 7PM

Visit http://www.alyson.com or http://www.amazon.com to purchase the book.

If you want to book a signing or workshops I do anywhere in your area please feel free to contact me at joekort@joekort.com or 248-399-7317.

Read an introduction to the new book Read an introduction to the book.
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Coming from WW Norton Books:

"Gay Affirmative Therapy for the Straight Clinician: The Essential Guide" by Joe Kort, MSW

This book will offer skills and information to straight therapist working with gay, bisexual and lesbian clients. It is not enough to be gay friendly. It is crucial that therapists be armed with the facts and information to do effective work with their gay, lesbian and bisexual clients. This book will offer all of that and more.