I am not talking
about the government’s “Don’t ask, don’t tell”
policy on gays in the military. I’m talking about my
walking down the Barbie aisle at my local toy store.
My sister
recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl—her
first, after three boys over the last eight years.
My eldest nephew is all boy and not interested in
anything pink or “girly” in any way—despite my best
efforts! Believe me I tried. When he was three, I
steered him into the Barbie Department to see if he
would be drawn or interested in anything about dolls
or doll accessories. He wasn’t. At all. In fact, he
banned me from going down the Barbie aisle.
After my
second nephew was born, and we all visited the toy
store, my older nephew said to his little brother,
“Don’t like anything pink or girly.” At age five,
when my oldest nephew was trying to understand my
interest in Celebrity dolls
and Barbie dolls that fill my home and office,
he said, “I think I know why you like girl toys. You
want a girl to kiss you.” Boy was he wrong!
When I was a
little, boy, I loved to play with my sister’s dolls.
I vividly recall her Barbie Dream House, Barbie
Camper and Barbie Airplane. I would enjoy them
alone, since I knew that my parents were against me
playing with these toys. When my sister announced
she planned to have children, I hoped and prayed
that one would be a girl, so I could have a second
chance at playing with girl toys—only this time,
without someone telling me I couldn’t. But sure
enough, she had boy after boy—until now.
Many people
still believe that playing with girl toys will turn
a boy gay. If children were truly affected by their
playthings this way, we’d see adult males pretending
to be Spiderman, Batman, and Superman, or strutting
around with light sabers, pretending to be Luke
Skywalker. If that sounds ridiculous, it is! The
truth is, boys who play with dolls are not going to
become gay or want to be women. At worst, playing
with dolls will only make a boy a better father in
years to come. Is that so very wrong?
The book
Sissies and Tomboys, edited by Matthew
Rottnek, contains an article called “Homosexual
Boyhood” in which author Ken Corbett says,
“Feminine identifications for homosexual boys are
not so much an expression of a wish to be a girl .
….” and that “….. passive longings and feminine
identifications reside alongside a masculine
identification, often creating . . ..‘mixed gender
feelings’ .” In other words, we sissy boys just
aren’t the type of men our fathers and other
straight men were—or wanted us to be. This doesn’t
mean we’re not really men or were (or are) any less
masculine today! We are discovering the concept that
gender is a mixture of male and female traits.
However, many still voice protest. Take
A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality,
a superficial, shallow book by Joseph Nicolosi. He
reinforces rigid gender roles for children, coaching
parents to “lovingly” take away opposite-gender toys
and give them away to a girl or boy who really needs
them. This is hogwash!
So with the ban lifted from my 42-year-old life,
soon I’ll walk down the Barbie aisle with my head
held up high, holding my Inner Little Sissy by one
hand, and my niece by the other, while my three
nephews troop alongside, carrying their GI Joes.
Unless, of course, when my niece starts to talk,
she may say, “I don’t like dolls—I want to play with
trucks!” Then you will hear over the PA system,
“Cleanup in Aisle Four! We have a man crying, and he
won’t let go of Barbie!”
