Alyson Books, pb, 209 pages, $14.95
Reviewed by Toby Johnson
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Back in the mid-80s, when I was in private practice as a gay
psychotherapist, I used to give clients a copy of Scott
Peck’s
The Road Less Traveled after their first session. The
book very nicely described issues that regularly come up in
therapy by recounting case-histories of Peck’s clients and,
more importantly, presented how the psychotherapeutic
process of talking over one’s personal life history can
dramatically change patterns that have proved painful and
unfulfilling. Peck focused on the distinction between
“neurosis” and “character disorder” as unifying theme of all
the case histories, and so of his description of healthy
personality functioning. (He also explained why paying the
therapist was an essential part of the healing
process—something every therapist in private practice has to
confront.)
Reading about other people’s psychological patterns and life
problems—and especially how they solved them—in itself can
be amazingly healing, and can certainly provide motivation
for making changes for oneself.
I loved Scott Peck’s book (it helped me through a “midlife
crisis” of my own). I was happy to give it to prospective
clients to get them started on their own healing journey
down that “road less taken” to psychological insight and
self-understanding.
Well, if I were in back in practice today, I’d buy a case of
Joe Kort’s 10 Smart Things and start passing them out!
Though more succinct and to the point—and less
quasi-religious—than Peck, Kort does precisely the same
thing. Through recounting case-histories of clients he has
seen in his 16-year psychotherapy practice, Kort presents a
list of ten maxims for the successful gay life. Much the
way, Scott Peck focused on the neurosis/character disorder
axis, Joe Kort focuses his model of healthy functioning on a
closeted vs gay/sex obsessed axis. And, most importantly, he
offers the same kind of healing discussion that is
therapeutic in itself and that gives motivation and zeal for
entering therapy with a gay positive practitioner.
Kort’s 10 things are obvious, but bear articulation and
elucidation. The Ten Commandments of Moses are obvious too,
but inscribing them in stone made all the difference.
-
Take responsibility for your own life
-
Affirm yourself by coming out
-
Resolve issues with your family
-
Graduate from eternal adolescence
-
Avoid (or overcome) sexual addiction
-
Learn from successful mentors
-
Take advantage of psychotherapy “workouts”
-
Maintain rewarding relationships
-
Understand the stages of love
-
Commit to a partner
The book gets better and better as it goes along. I found
the chapter on “Therapy as Workout” to be the richest. Kort
defines the Gay and Lesbian Affirmative Psychotherapeutic
approach, describes the common life stages of gay men’s
development (following Erik Erikson’s familiar model mutatis
mutandis), explains the concept of transference, and
demonstrates how self-examination fosters wholeness and
happiness.
Some of the chapters offer very specific how-to advice, like
a six-point list of symptoms of sexual addiction or a
twelve-point list of tips for successful dating. There’s an
appealing interweaving of Joe Kort’s own life story with his
discussions of clients’ stories and problems. The final
chapter celebrates Kort’s own long-term relationship in the
process of arguing that long-term relationships are much
more prevalent and successful that commonly seen.
In the context of reviewing this book in White Crane
Journal, I have to observe there is an 11th smart thing
gay men can—and need to—do for their happiness and
fulfillment, and that is to “Understand the nature of
religion.” Kort discusses religion tangentially in the
process of describing gay men’s negative conditioning. He
doesn’t go the next step to explain how gay insight into the
superstitious and obsessive-compulsive side of religion can
help free everybody, gay and straight, to create a
successful and modern personal “spirituality.”
This book is just what you’re looking for if you’re thinking
about making changes in your life or entering therapy, or if
you’re just wanting a little touch-up in your psychological
functioning.
And—I know this sounds superficial, especially in light of
Kort’s various warnings about falling into pop-gay sex
obsession—the cover of the Alyson edition is graced with a
handsome photo of Joe Kort (looking a little like the
recently deceased TV personality, John Ritter). You’ll
probably enjoy occasionally closing the book and gazing at
the cover, thinking how nice to have a sweet, sensible,
caring and realistically good-looking gay man for a
psycho-spiritual guide. And how generous of Joe to have made
himself so!
There’s additional information on the book and the 10 Smart
Things at www.joekort.com.
